"Not if T****'s coming home"
So, she's back in touch with her ex-boyfriend who is currently finishing up his tour of duty in Iraq. She says he's supposed to be home in March. She says they were together until he decided to join the military, and that's the only reason they broke up (she couldn't stand to see him sacrificing himself). She says now that they're talking they've decided they really do love each other, and she wants to get back together with him when he gets home.
The only thing is, I don't know him, but I do know her, and she's going to try to spend as much time with him as possible, which means I'll have so much less. Now she's saying that since he's coming home she's in no hurry to get out of Santa Cruz, even though the entire time I've known her she's been itching for bigger things. She's always wanted to get out of her parents' house, but before we were going to do it together. I was excited about living with her. I was looking at stuff on Craigslist, and planning finances and everything. Then I didn't think she was as into it as I was, and kind of stopped for a while, but then I found HER looking at listings. And that made me really happy. Cos I knew she wanted it too. Or, I thought she did. Maybe I was mistaken, and she was only driven by getting away from her parents. Either way, now she's saying when He comes home she might move into his house in Ben Lomond with him. And that hurts SO MUCH. I've not only been marginalized as a friend, I've been completely brushed aside and forgotten.
So I lied, there were two things. Also, I've been there when people show up randomly, and change the way a person sees the world. It's not going to be the same hanging out with her ever again. She's not going to be C****, she's going to be C**** and T****. She'll never be the same to hang out with because her personality will be influenced by who she's trying to be fore him. I don't want that. I like who she is now. I don't want to see her put on the mask of whoever's around, especially not if it's some aggressive, all-or-nothing, Fresh-out-of-the-Service Marine, who still thinks in terms of a strict hierarchy, and rules and regulations, and not the close interpersonal intimate gestures that comprise normal, day-to-day relationships. She's going to be trying to make him happy, and in the process, giving up who she truly is.
I really, truly am lost. If anyone in the world has any advice for me, good or otherwise, I'd really appreciate the extra point of view.
Already, every other word is about him. He's already changed our friendship, simply by having such a huge impact on her. We never talk about regular things anymore. It's always her telling me stories of the two of them from before. I mean, I'm ok with her reminiscing, especially since it seems to make her so happy to think of him in that capacity, but I get tired of hearing about boys, especially him, and I think it's simply because I realize that he's not going to be who she remembers him as, and she might get hurt trying to force him to be that guy again.