This isn't what I wanted.

i've been really hard to deal with lately. and You've been so fantastic. i love you.

and i know it got really hard on you, to have to deal with me so much. and I'm so sorry.

but i can't do this without you. i need you by my side right now.

and i know you want to keep yourself safe, and i know i said it's what i wanted too, to protect you, but the truth is i was just trying to be selfless, like i always try to do, and i don't know if i can afford to be that right now.

I feel so alone, and so scared, and to have you pull back from me right now has sort of destroyed me.

because you always said you'd never leave me, and that you were different, and i could trust you, but how am i supposed to trust you, when at the moment i really need you most, you disappear?

How am I supposed to learn to trust you?

I want to, so badly. I do, really. I always have. I just didn't want you to know. Because as soon as you realized you had that power over me, I had no defenses.




I need to know that you're still here for me. Please.