Save

I am so excited.

I found my Lazarus, and killed all my superfluous applications, and now my computer has a gig and a half of free space, leaving me plenty of room to create my project, and then some!

I'm so excited about being able to save again!!! I got so hyped about it that I went all the way downstairs to tell Jenna about it.

Me: I was working, and then added another picture, and then -click- Save!!!!
Jenna: ... ok...
Me: Ok. I'm gonna go back and work some more so I can SAVE AGAIN!!!

:D

media of the day:
http://www.hallikainen.org/windoze/winrg.swf

Go. Click. Explore... Write me a response of what you think of it, and then when you're done with the file, SAVE IT!!!

I Am Fortune's Fool

It's happening again...

I can feel it in my heart.
In the emergency reflex that contracts the tendons that pull the muscles and squeeze it like fruit to make it drip out distress-
dripdrip.
drip drip.

We have this repertoire, Fortuna and I.
Dawn's first gasping breath over the edge of the wheel brings the putrid, musky reminder of the toil to come.

It is truly only my recurring dream of clawing desperately at the wood,
being overtaken by the immense weight, and
(finding myself shackled by my wrists to the spoke below me)
diving head first into the ground that awakens me from my pacified, naive state,
and reminds me of the Pleiades,
those ungrateful hens.

Unable to speed or slow the passing of time, I watch, clairvoyant of what is to come.
Of course I struggle (for who wouldn't struggle), but what struggle has ever resulted in peaceful harmony?

I see the course, attempting to learn its steadfast route so I may derail it, change it, or pause--

to live another month at the crest would make the fall so much more bearable

-- it continues as normal, unheeding of my cries.

Protest does nothing but teach me to shout.
Struggling does nothing but teach me to fight.
Acceptance does nothing, but teach me to love.

The people we know and those whom we rely on tend to have an inexplicably large impact on the way we think, the way we act, and the way we interact. The people we chose to surround ourselves with have a similar impact on the way we consider ourselves, even if neither we nor they realize it. With some we think of ourselves as lazy, with some mean, with some incredibly generous. We see not how we truly are, but as a reflection in this other person of what the person does not possess. We ourselves do not change, only the standards, expectations, or needs of those around us do. To make these people more comfortable, therefore, we provide for them these things by emphasizing the parts of ourselves that cater to what is lacking. This happens all the time, sometimes to a higher degree than other times, and if we're not careful, sometimes it can consume us, and we can lose our true selves in it.

Just thought I'd share.