The War With My Body

First, let me say that while I'm on an adrenaline rush right now, I haven't been sleeping well at all lately, so there is no doubt that I will be exhausted by simply writing this (I do have half an energy shot, though, so I should be relatively ok for class). For whatever reason, my body has decided that it is now going to be impossible for m to get a full night's sleep, no matter where I am. At my apartment, at C****'s house, at my parents' house, I still seem to wake up very early in the morning, which, when I go to bed late at night means that the largest and most important of REM cycles is never reached. It's already affecting my behaviour, and my school performance, and causing headaches, and I'm sure I'll be going crazy soon. Last night, for example, I didn't get home until 2, so I probably passed out around 2:30. I don't remember the bulk of dreams from the main part of the night, but I awoke unprompted and for no reason at 7:02 this morning. I never set an alarm last night. There was no reason for this. I went back to sleep, but kept awaking, every twenty minutes or so thereafter! iIhad a series of strange dreams, but then, what dreams aren't strange? The last one, however, the one from which upon waking I chose to just get up, started out as an imitation of life dream, in which I was in a household with the people I am currently living with. We weren't living in our apartment, however, we were living in a loft apartment, somewhat like a combination of our real apartment, and Steph's house. Also, instead of Laura, our group contained a guy named "Drew." It seemed that we were still at UCSC, but the campus was much more sprawling, like that of CSUMB. At one point, Drew tried to walk out of my room with some of my shirts in his hand. As soon as he got to the hallway they disappeared, but it was obvious he was taking them. I asked him to return them, and he denied ever having them. We started screaming at each other about it, and it ended with him leaving, and me going into his room and tearing through his stuff looking for them. Then Chris turned into Eddie, and Eddie came in and told me he still had some of my clothes from when we were together that he had never gotten around to returning, and that I could wear those until I could get my stuff back from Drew. I followed him back to his room, and he gave me some stuff that I know for a fact he still has in real life. I was so thankful I kissed him on the cheek, and he got all bashful about it, even though I didn't mean anything by it. Then Erin offered to drive me to class, but instead of her Cherokee she was driving a Scion xb. I told her about the Drew thing, and she seemed upset by it. then I asked her if she would be late by driving me, and she said she was supposed to be in "Show Modeling," which I assumed was something like Show Choir, but didn't ask. Then I woke up, and it was 9:01, and I got up.

It is possible that my lack of real sleep has contributed to the fragility of the rest of my body. The scrape on my knee has still not healed, or even fully scabbed and that wound was incurred almost two weeks ago now. Additionally, the joints in my hands have become extremely sensitive, and scream out if ever I use them too much, or don't move them for too long. The joint in my unscathed knee also seems to be complaining, as of yesterday. It seems the same specific parts of it become numb if it is in the wrong position, or stays still for too long. It hasn't been as bad today, though, so That may have come from the adjustment of the seat of my car yesterday (every adjustment changes the way that leg maneuvers the clutch). Hopefully that's all that was.

Dunno what's up with the sleep thing. Gonna try to crash for a good length of time this weekend, see if that helps...