Love is... altruistic

It's funny how we put ourselves in the most trying of positions for the benefit of others, even if what we're doing is extremely detrimental to our own physical, mental, emotional health, welfare, whatever. It seems this concept of "love" requires of us complete and total devotion to the safety and comfort of some other person without even concerning ourselves with whether we've addressed our own needs first or at all, or whether this other person is in turn willing to be concerned with our needs. This "love," this beauty that is so coveted, so often written about, is so easily the cause of so much pain.

At first, the feeling itself is liberating. To know and feel and admit to yourself that there is some person in your life for whom you wouldn't hesitate to perform even the most astonishing actions, no regrets, produces such a powerful wave of calming, intense, giddy pleasure that it seems you'll never come down.

Then, when you realize seconds later that it is only you who feels this strongly, and that the object of your affection does not return the gesture, you're overcome by a panic that is pained, and sick, and the overwhelming tone of life seems so destructive, so incredibly wrong that the only thought capable of entering your mind is how much you want it to stop. But of course, it never does. And eventually you realize that you don't mind that they don't want to protect you in return, even if they said they would. It makes them happy that you are so devoted, so it means nothing at all that they don't reciprocate- they're happy, so you're happy.

But it's not enough. As much as anyone can ever feel that the other person being happy is enough for them to be happy, it simply isn't. It can't ever be. In order to have a healthy relationship, both parties must be supported. Both must feel equally empowered. Because you have to have all your other needs- food, safety, shelter, self-esteem- before you can have love.

If love is being entirely altruistic, and being entirely altruistic causes a downfall, then demonstratively love causes downfall...

So then, love is not a good thing...