Dear Boy in Clinical Who Kicks My Chair,

Stop it.

Truly, we are in the Second Grade when, in a Clinical Health Care class at a prestigious University of California, you insist on distracting me by repeatedly knocking the back of my chair with your foot. I sympathize that there is not an abundance of leg room between rows in these classrooms, especially since the designers had to accommodate 8 billion people, but surely your feet (which are not all that big to begin with) can fit under your own chair, or even- and I know this is a revelation- on the floor.

Also, tell your girlfriend to get HER feet off the back of my chair as well. She is not nearly as distracting as you, insofar that she does not create vibrations and a tapping noise, but alas, every time she shifts her feet, my hair gets caught between them and the chair back, effectively pulling it whenever I breathe. I understand the need for her to constantly readjust, seeing as how she has her feet up on the back of the chair next to the one in front of her, and this diagonal can be quite a stretch. But I assure you both, if she removes her feet from my chair this problem will disappear completely.

You might also want to note, that if the two of you desist, you will in fact get to keep your feet. Otherwise, I might be inclined to remove them FOR you.

Cheers.