Holidays, California, and the Missing Link

A complaint filed by me, to me, during the winter holidays.


The holidays have always been a time of happiness and good will. We all trust that the celebration of the various religious holidays will overcome anything we may be feeling toward one another. In World War Two, there was a temporary hiatus in the battle between the German and British armies while the soldiers climbed from the trenches, and sung carols together on Christmas Eve. Today, government and big business alike release the indentured people, and allow them to celebrate with family and friends. Just the idea of spending a peaceful evening curled up by the fire spreads warmth into our hearts that spirits never could.

But for most Californians the winter season is not a time of peace and snow, but a time of terrifying torrential rain, which brings downed power lines, increased traffic jams, and terrifying gas and electric heating bills. The silent white we associate with the holidays has never shown itself in California, and the effect has become more and more noticeable- in the giant, fast cars we drive, in the hours we spend working, even in the way we interact with each other. Californians are a rude, selfish, aggressive people. Sure, we have our fun, but when it’s time to get things done we all prefer to have things run smoothly, and when that doesn’t happen, we get stressed out, and start biting off heads.

This lack of snow is unacceptable. California needs to be whipped into shape, and snow needs to start falling, if not for the beauty it’ll bring our state at least for the sanity of the people living here. Our people have been so snow deprived for so long that we have developed a powdered substitute that becomes snow when watered. As fun as this product is to watch, feel, and play with, it will never be a substitute for the calm, clean-slate feeling we get from a nice thick layer of real snow.