Excerpt from "Beer vs. Pot," by Bill Hicks

Alcohol is legal. They push alcohol twenty-four hours a day on tv. They push it down your throat: “Drink beer. Drink beer. Drink beer.” Why? Well, cuz it makes you slow and stupid with a docile attitude, and that’s the way we like you. You know, it’s only the number two killer in the world... But I’ve actually seen beer commercials during “war against drug” specials. No sense of irony, you know, no one f***ing gives a sh*t...
Marijuana... oh, you know... cigarettes- legal. Alcohol- legal. Kill more than all other illegal drugs combined... times one thousand. They aren’t illegal. Maijuana, a drug that kills... uh... no one... and, let’s put it in a time frame: ever. Marijuana’s against the law.
You tell me why. I don’t know. You want a better world, legalize pot.
It’s a better drug, I’m telling you! Here, I’ll prove it to you.
You’re at a ball game, you’re at a concert, and someone’s really violent, aggressive, and obnoxious, are they drunk, or are they smoking pot? Drunk! We all know the truth. I have never seen people on pot get in a fight, because it’s f***ing impossible. End of argument.
Say you get in a car accident, and you’ve been smoking pot. You’re only going four miles an hour... “I think we hit something.... It’s okay, I forgot we were going in reverse...” But at least no one was hurt. A garage door has to be replaced. Boom! A child is then created!